2020 strikes again
As if 2020 couldn’t have gotten any worse, it had one last trick up its sleeve for us. I write this just two days after having to put down my wife and I’s beloved family horse, Valentino. It was and continues to be a devastating loss for me, but even more so for my wife. I have never seen a more intimate and loving relationship between human and animal. And the love went both ways, Val undeniably knew when she was sad, angry, happy or just goofing around with him. If he sensed the slightest uncertainty from her, he would stop whatever he was doing to protect her. He was an amazing part of our family and will be remembered for the rest of our lives. Val had taught me many things during his life, but to my surprise I am also being taught so much by his departure.
While it is hard, if not impossible right now to be thankful for this tragic event, I am seeing ways that God is using it to reshape my heart and mind. As many know and have experienced, during any period of grief it seems that you cannot get your mind to stop thinking about the loved one that is gone. For days, weeks or even months you feel like you are teetering on the edge of a breakdown. The feeling of a hot lump in your throat becomes normal. Eyes constantly bloodshot and wet from fresh tears. As my wife and I journey through this period of grief, a thought came into my mind that I can’t seem to get past.
How great the Fathers pain
I thought, if we mourn and grieve this much over a family pet, how much more excruciating was the pain and mourning that God the Father felt as his beloved son was beaten beyond recognition and hung on a tree? How raw the weeping must have been that day in the Heavenly realm. There were no words to comfort, no casseroles to bring to the Father that would relieve this unbelievable pain. The silence must have been deafening as the body of Christ was placed in the tomb.
I held Valentino and looked into his eyes as the veterinarian did his job. I think back and wonder, if Val had the ability to speak, and cried out to me “Dad! Please don’t let this happen to me! Find another way!” I don’t think there is any possibility I would have been able to go through with it. I would have went to any lengths to try to save him.
Now picture God the Father, listening to Jesus cry out in prayer the night of his death. “Father! Please let this cup pass from me! Isn’t there another way?!” To see and hear your son cry out to you like this multiple times must have been absolutely horrible. But even more so to know that there wasn’t another way. This had to be done. How easy it would be for us as humans to say, “What a terrible Father!” But in reality what overwhelming love this Father has. To go through this pain for the sole purpose to save you and I. To give up your only beloved, perfect, holy son so that you could adopt rebellious, hateful, vile human beings. How great is the Fathers love for us?
Our suffering Savior
Sometimes in our grief it is so hard to see beyond it. It’s hard to see past the pain and the hole left in our lives. Whether it’s a pet or loved one, death is a terrible and difficult thing. But I can take comfort in knowing that my Savior isn’t one who cannot sympathize with our sufferings. But he was tempted and suffered in ways unimaginable. I thank God for Valentino and the joy that he brought into our lives. But I thank God even more for choosing to love me and going to extreme lengths to save me and make me part of His family.